I too resisted change so long. It takes so much effort, courage, patience, resilience. And it's so hard to change. I didn't want to overcome or question my fears. I knew my fears and knew how to avoid them. I was good at that. And also dissatisfied. That's just the way I am, I thought.
Facing your fears, trauma, beliefs. That's scary. I was ashamed. I was afraid of my own thoughts. I didn't want to know what I was thinking. I wanted my thoughts to stay fuzzy and formless in my head, I didn't want to articulate them or write them down, thereby I had to deal with them; they became real.
A domino effect began. The more I saw, understood, dug deeper, the more was revealed. My fears turned into fascination. And I found myself.
I'm so glad to be here in this version that has shed so many layers and feels freer than ever - and at the same time knows that there are so many more layers to shed. It's a journey and I'm grateful for everything I've been able to learn, experience, observe, question, deconstruct, build and recreate.
And I am grateful for the people I met on this journey – personally or virtually.